Unmet Childhood Needs - Pure Light 1111

Unmet Childhood Needs


From my work with clients I’m noticing a pattern of difficulty for many in connecting with their childhood wounding.  This is understandable as it’s often a suppressed unmet need we have detached from consciously but we are regularly reminded by being triggered not only in our adult relationships but also by our own children.

It can be a huge reminder of a secretly hidden wound when we see our own children develop & grow as often it will reconnect us to our own experiences at those age periods.  Which could be remembered fondly or with sadness as we recall not receiving the love we needed.  So the trigger acts as an alert to a wound we need to uncover and heal.  Often we are not always the soul teachers in the parent/child dynamic.  They bring many gifts and have a lot to teach us too.

For many they have so long suppressed their own needs that they can barely connect with what they are.  Let alone articulate them.  So getting to a place of having a healthy relationship with yourself which can then be extended to one with another, will essentially mean reparenting yourself.  The act of helping yourself grow up where for whatever reason your own family didn’t have all the tools in the toolkit to support you.

We have to accept we chose our parents and childhood experiences at soul level for the growth and expansion they would bring us.  Though this would not have been part of our conscious awareness whilst struggling through our childhood challenges. Soul lessons of forgiveness, self love, speaking our truth and power are often the roots of difficult family dynamics trying to be learnt by all involved.

For many you are not only navigating your own awakenings you are also trying to manage your families increasingly activated awakenings too.  Your children chose to be born into families that would help accelerate their spiritual growth but also support them through their own venture into remembering truly who they are as souls.

So if this is resonating for you, I highly recommend buying this book: 5 love languages of children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell.


Before trying to read this book from the perspective of how you can parent your own children better.  I would like you to firstly determine your own love language but also read through the chapters and use this as a pathway to help you see examples of healthy parenting and where you didn’t have your own needs met whilst growing up.

I would recommend journaling examples and the childhood ages for each of the memories that arises.  Do this for all of the 5 love languages.  We will all have a primary love language but will also seek to have a mixture of each of them as part of feeling loved.

This is going to help give you the conscious awareness of what needs to be healed.  Once we are aware of it we can heal it.

For those working through the Twin Flame Healing Program complete the sections below and it will assist you in a huge healing to really put these pieces to rest.  Allowing you to quickly integrate them but accept that you are not the story of your childhood. You always deserve to be loved and are worthy of it.  With forgiveness of self and seeing the soul selves of our parents.  Rather than the many personas and behaviours we experienced from them.

We can see that they too are souls struggling with their own pieces and with forgiveness and compassion we can release them and us from the cycles and holding patterns caused by our childhood wounding.  Once we are really ready to accept this and let it go we can open ourselves up far more to new more loving experiences in all areas of our lives.

  1. Read the pdf: Re-parenting the inner child and the importance of looking after your own divine temple.
    • Then follow with the mp3 healing meditations:
      • Reparenting yourself & looking after the temple- self-care meditation.
      • Reparenting yourself & looking after the inner temple- Inner child healing meditation
      • Blocks to soul love meditation
  2. Read the pdf and do the exercise included to get out all of the stored resentments, anger, grudges and fears you’re holding onto.  Aim for a list of 100 examples.

Then follow with this mp3 to release everything on your list.  Forgiveness meditation – You have the keys to your own cage

If you would like to buy the program click here

Once you have done this exercise for yourself and worked through the healing steps.  You now have a toolkit that you can use whenever you are re-triggered along the way.  Allowing you to quickly bounce back and not allow it to pull you off course.

You can then re-read the book to identify the love language of each of your children.  Often they will each be different.  Then integrate the ideas suggested at the end of each chapter on how to better demonstrate these through your words and actions with your children.  This is literally taking action to break through the ancestral patterns and templates to create a new reality of a loving upbringing for your children.

Love and blessings

Allera xx

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