Until someone has owned their stuff, their inner desires and shadow. Then healed and integrated them enough to implement changes in their lives so as not to walk the same path. Not taking shortcuts where they are talking the talk but not fully walking a new path. You are their playground. Meaning we are all to a degree learning and practicing on each other.
So whilst we are going through this evolution of interrelating we first and foremost have to go inside ourselves and make a very clear pact on what is and what isn’t acceptable behaviour, conversation and touch in our presence. In particular making it clear with ourselves how we want to be touched and by whom.
This even comes down to taking your power back in an intimate sexual situation so it becomes more of a sacred collaborative dance and that no touch or penetration occurs unless you verbally ask or invite your partner to enter. Creating a completely different dynamic. Removing confusion or being lost in the moment and doing something you don’t in your heart and womb truly want to do but feeling pressured or obligated to keep going.
Your womb has a consciousness (men have an etheric womb called a Hara). You know deeply when you have been touched or penetrated and it wasn’t done with a heart/sacral chakra connection or with love. You will often feel empty and low afterwards. Feelings of confusion, anger and betrayal are often present. Some yours and some of the energetic baggage you have allowed to be deposited within your body.
There is a saying that you should only have sex with someone you want to be. This is something we should be teaching our children too! As every time we have sex we are not only connected to them by cords. We exchange soul essence, soul fragments (due to the emotional intensity we give away parts of ourselves), thought forms and part of our emotional body. This means you take an imprint of that persons emotional state each time they enter you. If a person has an entity this will also be transferred.
Sex is a sacred contract and covenant between souls and often during the awakening process people will find an influx of ex partners and past life lovers come into their lives trying to replay out the unresolved drama and ultimately reclaim their soul fragments. This is why it’s important to be conscious of your actions, practise energy clearing and do an energetic divorce with past partners at soul level.
I work with many clients with addictions. Including sex addiction. One of the main pieces that really transforms their situation is the energetic clearing and disconnection from past trauma and the web of entanglement with the lovers at soul level. Though as sex has become disposable in today’s society and connections more frequent and fluid. This can easily apply to many people not just those on the extreme end of the sex addiction polarity.
If you imagine that by sleeping with so many different people over the years and at the same time taking on the energy from them all it results in manifesting a confused state and mood swings. This can make someone feel like they have multiple personalities as they are pulled all over the place energetically.
In all cases I have found that entity attachments are also manipulating them and creating low impulse control so they constantly crave their next fix. Plus their sexual energy is constantly harvested and manipulated by the entity. The only way I can describe being around someone like this is that they aren’t truly in control, they can’t say no to their sexual urges and will project their sexual energy when you are around them. You may also feel them cord and attach to your sacral, solar plexus and even heart chakra to source energy from you.
Shadow aspects of sexual predator and manipulator can also present. The doe eyed light worker or spiritual teacher with an ulterior motive is the most common I have witnessed. It’s a bit like what lurks beneath a facade. Yet even on the surface you might not detect it but scratch deeper and you feel it. They are often open about their shadows, parading their journey like a medal but are still in the grip of them. The second being more covert as they are working the trickster archetype. Calling those who interact with them to fully love themselves, set boundaries and not allow themselves to be pulled off course by them.
For those battling sex addiction part of the challenge is that they have also taken on another persons mental instability and thought imprints through sex. This is completely pulling them off their own souls path as they battle the inner conflicts this now poses. Getting their fix of sexual attention often under the guise of seeking love in a distorted way. This is the warning flag to be conscious of.
When we have strong clear boundaries with ourselves, others feel them and are less likely to cross them. This doesn’t mean people won’t try to but it does means you will be more conscious when they do so that you can assert them.
Boundary setting doesn’t need to be done aggressively. It’s about really stepping into your power and owing your sacred yes and sacred no. How many times have you betrayed yourself by saying yes to a man you desired but truly in your heart and womb you knew you were accepting crumbs and really it should have been no that came from your mouth? This is often the case when we fall into the trap of believing we can somehow convince another to change to our agenda involving them. Believing in the potential of who a man or woman can be rather than who they in the here and now. This kind of projection is rife in the Twin Flame community. So we find ourselves entangled in a web of self induced delusion which often leads people into a collapsed victim state. When in truth they put themselves there.
We are all becoming much more sensitive to energy. If you tune into any time someone touches you, you will connect with the intention.
A recent situation I experienced was with a physiotherapist I was seeing for an ankle injury. Although there was no attraction to him it was a different story from his side and I felt it as he was touching my ankle and feet. That evening I was woken after a terrifying dream of him chasing me and trying to have sex with me. I tuned in to what was going on and found that this man had an entity and through the skin contact to me, combined with his sexual energy and being in my energy field whilst treating me he had been able to hook in. I cleared this straight away and changed physiotherapists the next day.
Sexual energy is the most potent energy within us. It is a drive of creative energy and as such it can attract energy vampires in all guises.
I have recently been noticing how men and women in the new age community are using their sexual energy and often seemingly friendly touch such as a hug or even subtle but uninvited touch on arms, backs and legs in a sexually energetic way. Often with the opposite sex. This isn’t anything new but it’s certainly something which is part of the shadow that needs to be transformed as I have been seeing this with group/retreat facilitators and yoga teachers the most. Most of these people don’t have the training from a clinical field which provides the depth of boundary work so they are more conscious of how powerful touch is and how it can be read in the wrong way in particular during any kind of intimate one to one setting or in therapeutic group work.
This has become distorted where the person in power such as a teacher or facilitator is using touch as a means to manipulate. I have seen this in both sexes. There is often an underlying need to be desired (often sexually), wanted and a bit of a power trip underneath it all. I also felt in some situations it was a way they worked their energy to gain more clients or to get people to join their classes!
At root there is often a belief that love is sex and a deep fear or unworthiness of love and to be loved and accepted for who they are. It’s their childhood wounded ways of getting attention and needs met playing out in their adult lives. In areas of the new age community some will only look at love and light as their new religion and so are blinded to the shadow undercurrents surrounding them. Combine this with very blurred boundaries between client, teacher or practitioner into friend in these situations and it’s a hot mess of potential for abuse of power.
For many who are seeking healing, help and a new community that understands them. They are often vulnerable and also not used to how boundaries of touch and intimacy are different in these groups from what they know. It’s easy for them to become confused, emotionally attached or sexually manipulated. They enter into what seems like a new world when they join these new groups. One with new structures, constructs and pecking order. Often the teacher/facilitator is treated like some kind of advanced being with a flock of eager followers. Everyone is also operating through the morphic field of the community. Meaning they share the same thoughts and beliefs of their collective. So it can be very easy to slip into unconsciously changing your own thoughts and boundaries whilst in these situations as energetically you are part of the group mind.
My initial first hand experience of this was back in 2010 when I visited a yoga retreat in Goa in India. The owner, a yoga teacher, entrepreneur and now spiritual speaker had set up the retreat post leaving his home in the UK. He was at the time in his late thirties when I attended, muscular, shaved head and parading about his spiritual ego like nothing I had seen before. I noticed how he ‘vetted’ each of the women visiting the retreat like he was working out who would be his next meal. I picked up on this straight away and saw right through him.
On my first night there he came to our table and tried to figure me out. Was I a yoga teacher- no. Where was I from? What did I think of his retreat- asking for ego strokes. Then relaying the story of his parents death and how it sparkled his spiritual quest- trying to build intimacy by sharing but it felt contrived. Where was I from? Did I live alone and was I single? Oh and had I heard of Osho as he had lived in the commune for some time a few years back. He then asked would I be interested in joining him and his friends for some kind of water dance in the dark. He went on to explain it would mean a group of us get in a small pool naked, eyes closed and see where the music takes us. Explaining we let our bodies take over! His friend Sirus popped up at that point introducing himself. They both just made my skin crawl. I just laughed and said no thanks that’s not my thing.
They then proceeded to the next group of women. I was there for 2 weeks and I noticed the pattern. He would work out who was game amongst the new groups joining who were mostly women. Then would pick one. They would be dazzled for a few days his attention where they slept with him. He would then completely detach from them and spend a couple of days ignoring her. Eating all meals at the ‘silent table’. Then he started again with the next woman to get entangled in his web. He would use sexual energy to create these female followers entranced in a web on some level wanting to be chosen by him! What amazed me most is none of them could see it.
There is often a pattern around these men and often it’s chaos. They remain calm but the women in their company lose themselves in drama and jealousy! On some level these men feed off the attention of having and needing to feel desired by women. I pulled him aside one day and said it’s like you create a new hareem every few days then drop them. His answer was that they let him. None of them say no, so he’s not doing anything wrong!
It’s a clear message. People treat us how we allow them to treat us. Just because a guy meditates, does yoga, is into crystals, claims to have worked through all manner of inner woundings, has read all the ancient texts and can practise every move of the karma sutra with you if let him. It doesn’t mean they are necessarily going to act from a place of integrity or values. It still all comes down to your relationship with yourself, your heart and womb as woman. You teach a man how to treat you.
As someone who can read someone’s energy, the thought forms in their field and also see any entities they have within them. I view things differently. Energy can be deceptive but when you remove any tools someone is using to hide their true soul status…it never lies. I also have a pattern of pulling off the mask of anyone I come across who is manipulating in this way. Often just being in my company and energy field will cause this to happen. They feel in some level I’m different and it unnerves them so the masks start to drop. It’s been a useful tool throughout my life and has forewarned me of many shady characters.
This is a tool we all have and can be developed. As women if we take the time out and connect not only with our hearts but also our wombs. We will start to gain the inner truths we are ignoring.
How would things be different in your life if you started honouring the wisdom and knowing of your womb before entering into an intimate connection with someone? How could this help you remove any doubt and confusion? By taking this approach with yourself you unknowingly start to teach a man to consider the sacredness of your body and the creative temple of the womb. It’s not an access all areas but a place which is only reached through love, respect, open communication, honesty, vulnerability and true connection.
Consider how you want to shift the dynamics in your relationships starting with the relationship you have with yourself & body first. How you talk and touch yourself is so powerful and can send out a strong message of self love. Start daily rituals of kindness, pleasure and nurturing for yourself. Work out how you want to be touched so you can teach a partner.
Feel confident to say no thanks to a hug if you don’t feel you want to hug that person. Especially if their energy feels off. It’s your choice who you let into your personal space. If someone touches you and it makes you feel uncomfortable make them aware and ask them not to do it again. This includes with any teacher or facilitator. Set the boundary and don’t feel guilty!
Love and blessings
Allera xx
