What more do you need to motivate you to change what is not making you happy anymore? What do you need to motivate yourself to choose a life of fulfilment?
Some people have been caught up in patterns of negative thinking, hanging out with negative people where gossip/moaning is the depth of the conversation, a job they hate, spending a day doing a job that fills them with anxiety and drains them of all life force. They go home to a soul less marriage/relationship with nothing to say to their partner and sink into a zombie like pattern of mentally detaching from their reality and planning the next holiday as a glimpse of the next fix of temporary happiness to look forward to.
Meal times are sat staring at phones never truly present with the company surrounding them. Life is spent creating snapshots of a picture perfect illusion that is broadcast over social media daily. Life has become in vain for the façade of an external illusion of happiness, success and wealth. It’s like keeping up with the jones’s gone mad! Now it’s a narcissistic competition against all those on social media trying to seek validation for their existence. Happiness has been exchanged for Facebook likes! They believe this is normal. This has become LIFE!
For some they have met a Twin Flame. Rather than this being the opportune soul igniting reason to take a deep look inside and feel how unsatisfying life is and taking some action to change things. The Twin Flame has been added to the long list of addictive substances used to avoid their daily mundane life and inner well of unhappiness. Instead of only filling up on food, drugs or alcohol. They can now escape into the rabbit hole of Twin Flame social media forums and groups. Creating a fantasy land of how their future will un fold magically when the creator comes to rescue them, to reward them in divine timing with the union between themselves and their Twin Flame. Where they sail off into the sunset and escape themselves and their current reality. It’s an addiction pattern of denial and self-avoidance.
Of course it’s much easier to escape life this way. Adding the Twin Flame connection to another comfort blanket or habit but it will take you deeper down a wrong path when you do wake up and realise that you have spent literally years living this way. Existing but never fully connecting with yourself or those around you. It’s like living in a disassociated state where self-respect, boundaries and motivation have been completely forgotten.
In the past week I have seen comments of anger by women who are angry at their Twin Flames for ‘flaunting’ their happy lives on social media. One woman believed this to be some kind of personal attack. How dare he be happy! Yet when I read through the later post trails. She had literally taken no action in healing her wounds and no action in looking at herself and life to make the changes that would have brought her the joy she craved. She had become a bystander in her own life. The only way I can describe it is spending your life standing staring through a shop window. Forgetting that you can walk away and experience something new, exciting and enlivening yourself. That there are other views to be seen. She had put her life on hold as she just watched her Twin Flame get on do what made him fulfilled. Now in realising this she is angry…though not at herself…Yet! No, she is still stuck in the lack mentality of blame. She is blaming him. She is jealous of how he took action to make a choice to do something about his life and create something that brought him joy!
The only person she truly can be annoyed with is herself. We all have a choice in every moment to take action to steer our lives in the direction we want. Some people get this message earlier than others. Some allow life to happen to them and then wonder why they have got to a destination they aren’t happy with. Some recognise the early warning signs of discomfort and do something now knowing it’s damage limitation for sitting it out, sticking your ahead in the sand and hoping things will magically get better.
In the past month I have worked with 2 female clients who had both ‘waited’ for Twin Flame union to materialise whilst putting their lives on hold. They have both agreed for me to share their stories.
One stayed in an unfulfilling marriage for 25 years, too scared to take the steps to leave her husband, step into her power, get a job or love herself enough to choose her happiness rather than the status quo. She wanted me to share this situation as she is now 60 and her Twin Flame died of a heart attack 3 months ago. They were given many opportunities over the years to bump into each other and reconnect. Each time it brought up waves of realisation of how different her life could be but she just couldn’t bring herself to make the changes needed. She never chose to love herself enough to acknowledge her unhappiness in her marriage, life and ultimately take action. It’s only now at the news of his death that she can’t deny her feelings and how her choices have shaped her reality. It’s now she is committing to love herself. Her soul is forcing her to. There’s no hiding now. Now she is having to heal all of the pieces she suppressed within herself for those years. Not for the hope of union but for the need for peace, inner love and a chance at joy in the rest of her path. Which is a huge wake up call for ALL of us on this journey. It’s an inside job after all!
Another woman I worked with had met her Twin Flame at university 30 years ago. They had remained friends and he would constantly pop in and out of her life. She had pursued a career and wanted a family but felt that she was so drawn to this man that she found herself waiting for him. Not taking the teaching job abroad she had wanted in case it would affect their ability to see each other. Not finding a partner to have a family with and leaving it too late as she had hoped it would evolve one day with him.
Admittedly it’s only been during the past 5 years that she really understood their connection and had it confirmed that he was her Twin Flame. The sad piece here is that there were a lot of secrets and lies unearthed in the past year. She had believed that he had been married once in his early twenties and believed this had ended a couple of years later. It had in fact lasted over a decade and he has 4 children. During that time this woman had an on/off relationship with him and is mortified to have essentially been the other woman albeit unknowingly. She would never have been involved or even spoken to him if she had known he was married as it was completely against her ethics and values. So she feels very hurt at this situation. He worked in the oil industry and was frequently travelling for work and she believed these extended periods were due to his businesses rather than a secret family he had kept hidden from her.
During a time in her life when she could have had the opportunity of a happy family with children of her own. She had allowed herself to be kept in a holding zone even though not fully happy with the situation of him never truly committing to their connection. Through our work in the Akashic we uncovered that in the past 10 years he had also married twice more! All information she has since verified in the 3d physical. She is now working through the pieces of feeling betrayed not only by him but also of herself. She is learning to dig deep and forgive herself and him. It’s now time to really focus on loving herself. Working out why she for so many years put her happiness and validation in the hands of a person outside of herself, regardless of whether he was her Twin Flame or any other person.
There is no judgement here. All of this is a lesson in not only recognising our own abilities as divine co-creators to change our realities. It also brings gifts of forgiveness and compassion for ourselves.
Transitions, choices and surrendering the outcome
Sometimes it takes people to hit rock bottom before they are ready to make the changes needed in their lives. They know their lives are soul less and are close to walking around like the living dead as they have steered themselves so off path that there is no further place for them to go.
For many of the ‘Divine Masculine’ hanging out in their emotional basements. Avoiding their feelings. Believing their own illusions. Hanging on to the facades in their lives and covering up the rising feelings of discomfort with sex, substances and anything that fits the bill. They too are on their own journey. Partly of self-destruction but the flip side is that in hitting rock bottom, the only way is up or out. Meaning they will often have to make a decision to stay on this plane or opt out. Sometimes when we feel we have completely lost ourselves in a person, relationship, marriage or situation it is the fire inside us to quickly find ourselves again. Recapture our lives, our light, our self-respect. A rebirth of sorts that becomes our greatest transformation. The Twin Flame awakening is a heroes journey back to our true selves. Back to self-love and wholeness within. Sometimes people have to practically destroy themselves to the point of death to find the inner will to live and create a life worth living for.
In these situations female Twin Flames need to have enough self-love, respect, healthy boundaries to allow their counterpart to travel the road they need to without interfering. Moving away from being a life raft to someone who has all but given up. As the magic in these situations is the soul is running the show and we must surrender that your counterpart is choosing to create the reality just as they want and they are learning lessons through their self-created suffering.
If you stand and send more and more energy their way. Spending more time trying to fix them and their lives rather than focussing on your own. You are essentially rescuing, enabling and just fuelling the fire. A form of unbalanced psychic co-dependency. They will have no reason to fight their way out and gain their own strength to stand on their own two feet. They will never stand tall as an awakened Divine Masculine as they haven’t fought to save their own souls, broken their own toxic patterns and chosen to love themselves and create a life that reflects this. All they are doing is feeding off this constant stream of channelled energy which has no balance. They take but never give. Why do they need to? You are kind of playing their mothers and sending constant nourishment of life force energy instead of a bottle of milk. Keeping them with no motivation to seek within themselves to find the source of love which is within them all along. They stay in a collapsed male state, like an infantile wounded boy who never grows up. It’s like the 40 year old who’s still living at home and his mum cooks and cleans for him. He has never gained independence or the confidence that comes with doing things yourself. So he stays like the little boy.
For a man to step into his power. The women need to step back and allow him to free himself from his own cage at some point. There are fears for both the men and the women at the moment. Some men are scared of an awakened women who is in her power, has owned her wounded parts, found her voice, comfortable in her sensuality and is actively doing something with her life to help others. They are intimidated, because a man who is still playing wounded warrior is only used to women who are just as damaged, weak, submissive, co-dependent as he is. He’s never experienced a women where he couldn’t control her, one who can say no, one who has healthy boundaries and high levels of self-respect, one where she will love him by telling him the truth even if he doesn’t want to hear it, one who will support him in being the best he can be rather than enabling him in his self-destructive patterns. He’s angry that he can’t just get his own way with this awakened high value woman. His old methods just don’t impress her. For a man to stand by the side of an awakened woman who has her sh*t together, one who is of high value. He needs to up his game and he knows it. Otherwise he has no chance. She has chosen self-love and self-respect and can happily hold her counterpart in regards of unconditional love at a distance in this lifetime. Knowing that unless his actions in the 3d mirror high value awakened male then it’s a relationship that won’t last in the physical. The outcome is surrendered to the creator either way.
The flip side is that many women have held the power for some time now. Not realising that by doing so they are stifling the growth of their counterparts. He needs to spread his wings and gain strength without her holding his hand like a child all the way. He knows he needs to make some big changes in his life and within himself but if she is there looking over his shoulder constantly it’s a distraction and one which will make him doubt himself and slow him down. He needs space to get his own house in order. She needs to trust in him that if it’s his choice to do so then he will get on and take the action needed to create a new life for himself that aligns with self-love with or without her. She is happy just to see him take steps towards his healing. This is a time for women to cut the apron ties and use the excess energy they have been expending on their counterparts to refocus on themselves. For those who have played nurse to the wounded partners. Take the hat off and allow them to find their own way. The creator is the ultimate healer anyway. So ask the creator to take care of it. Focus on taking the action in your own life that brings you happiness and start carrying out your divine purpose now. Don’t wait for anyone. This is your life and you need to step back into the driving seat.
If you focus on you, pull your energy back and get really clear on goals. Goals for tackling your healing (the soul fragmentation, the core wounds, the inner child unworthiness wounds that are keeping you playing the enabler to the addict). Getting goals in place to change your life, home, job or health. Goals in place to create a life where you are serving in some way to help others. Then make a commitment to yourself daily to take steps towards each goal. One baby step at a time. Within a few weeks you will feel more uplifted, positive, in control and motivated. You will start to get more ideas and guidance on the next steps along the way and life will begin to flow. As you are taking charge of your life and getting back behind the wheel as a co-creator. In this state is where miracles occur. You have chosen self-love and joy and this is what you will becomes magnet to in your life. You won’t have room for worrying about what everyone else is up to in their lives. You’ll be too busy out living and immersing yourself in your own experiences!
Surrender the outcome regarding the Twin Flame union as you hold the key within you. Align to self-love , joy and carrying out your life purpose and allow the chips to fall where they may. Let the universe bring to you the highest and best for you. Be open to receiving the gifts from the creator rather than trying to control everything. As you are often not seeing the whole picture anyway!
Don’t become a passenger in your own life! Take action today!
If you would like help in going deeper in healing yourself on this ascension journey. To get to a place where you are ready to create a life of purpose (your Divine Timing). Take a look at The Twin Flame healing Program here for only £150!!
If you know you are here to do something in this life but aren’t sure what. Take a look at the new life manifestation pack only £20 (also part of the main Twin Flame program). You will access your Akashic records to find out when your Divine Timing is and what you have agreed to do. When we work in alignment with this, doors open and life becomes more satisfying.
Love and blessings wherever you are on your journey.