Love languages: The new relationship templates- Part 2 - Pure Light 1111

Love languages: The new relationship templates- Part 2


On the awakening journey we are being called to shatter the old illusion that love and validation is outside of us in the form of another person. This is true.

We must address all the fears, illusions and patterns we’ve collected along the way. Then set a daily conscious intention to fill our inner well with love.

Once we heal and can truly love ourselves (focus of the awakening process). We then need to integrate this healing to extend to loving another, so we can have a healthy interdependent relationship.

We need to understand how in a relationship dynamic do we create a connection where both parties feel loved and have their emotional needs met. Through conscious awareness we can use this knowledge to better understand ourselves, identify our needs and ask for them.

For both Divine Feminine and Masculine they know their last attempts at relationships didn’t work. A new approach is required.

So what are LOVE languages?

These are different ways in which we perceive to ‘receive’ love from another through their thoughts, words and actions whilst in a relationship!

For us to feel loved and a level of emotional contentment in a relationship, we must have our love needs met. This translates to both partners being able to understand and accommodate fulfilling some of their partners emotional needs.

This doesn’t replace self love. We aren’t going in with a list and just expecting someone else to deliver. Though for many they have starved themselves of self love and thrived only on the offerings of others. Times have changed and this won’t fly in a Twin Flame relationship. Neither will an imbalance of giving and receiving! It’s about collaboration and balance.

It also doesn’t mean having no boundaries and being accommodating of anything you don’t want to do. Co dependency and saying yes to things which leave you with guilt, shame, anger or feeling like your going against your personal values and integrity is not what this is about.

This is about being attuned to both you and your partners needs in a balanced way.

For many Divine Masculine this is their first experience of a partnership. A relationship where he can express his emotional needs and for them to be heard and fulfilled. It’s also the first time he’s had to actually consider the emotional needs of another. In the past he assumed throwing money at a situation or a few carefully timed words were enough to create a facade of intimacy in the shallow relationships he partook in. He was never truly present in his previous relationships. How could he be, he didn’t know who he was, his truth or his potential. Now he must pay attention, what makes his Divine Feminine tick? She’s like no other woman he’s met before. She’s unique and he’s curious. How can he ensure she KNOWS he loves her and feels emotionally satisfied with him by her side as a partner?

Relationship Love Languages

5 Languages of love

  • Words of affirmation (praise, telling someone you love them)
  • Acts of service (doing something for another that shows you love them)
  • Receiving gifts
  • Quality time (regular time spent together for fun, connection and closeness)
  • Physical touch (affection, cuddles etc)

In most instances these will have been formed through childhood and create part of our love template. These are normally formed by the time we’re 10 years old.

If you understand your own love language styles and can translate your Twin Flames, then you have a better chance at communicating what your emotional needs are. These are the emotional needs a partner needs to demonstrate so that you feel loved in a relationship!

Normally we will have a 3 main love languages. The primary will be the most important one. If we receive a combination of all three in a relationship we are more likely to remain happy, fulfilled and satisfied in the relationship. This means we can ride the challenges in relationships more easily as we know at core our emotional needs are met whilst in the partnership.

Take a pen and paper and write down your primary love language and then the next two in order of importance. Then do the same for your Twin Flame.

Knowing these love languages takes the heat off the other person to second guess or just repeat the patterns of all their other relationships. We are all being called to break the patterns of the past not repeat them! We’re all learning but having the desire to grow and make things work is the key here! It’s all in the intention.

This is a clean slate, fresh start and new beginning!

So here’s an example of mine and my Twin Flames love languages:

My love languages

  1. Physical touch
  2. Quality time
  3. Acts of service

My Twin Flames love language

  1. Physical touch
  2. Acts of service
  3. Words of affirmation

Low: Receiving gifts. For both of us, love can’t be bought.

This doesn’t mean someone doesn’t experience pleasure buying things for people. It just means that on an emotional level receiving gifts isn’t high on the priority list to feel loved by a partner.

I’m a very sensual person so touch and affection is very important to me. Someone could buy me all the gold in the world but if they couldn’t be affectionate through touch, cuddles and kisses or spend quality time with me me, it would be worthless.

I’m also very caring and enjoy showing love through acts of service (looking after others). Things like cooking a lovely meal for someone brings me a lot of pleasure. For someone who has ‘acts of service’ as a love language. It means through this gesture they feel loved and looked after. So in this situation both have their emotional needs met. Which is the key to harmony in a relationship.

The balance comes when both partners who have acts of service as a love language are aware of this and make the effort to understand each other’s needs. For one, having someone making them nice dinners fulfils that needs. For the other it may mean a different act fulfils that need. For me, I feel loved if a partner shows their support (anything from carrying the heavy shopping bags or offering to do something which helps me lighten the load in someway).

It’s about balance rather than prescriptive rules. We are building relationships where both partners needs are just as valid. Where we can communicate our needs and desires, feel heard and that we work out how best to fulfil these in the relationship. This is how intimacy a deepening bond and growing through love occurs in a relationship.

Can you reflect on past relationships where you can see that as you were in many cases unable to meet each other’s emotional needs. The early love high of the relationship would have disappeared and left quite a lonely, empty experience. Neither felt loved or took action to meet the other persons needs.

This often leads to many men and women jumping from short term relationship to short term relationship. There’s no true glue, depth or intimacy to hold these connections in place. Just the chemical high of connecting with a new lover! So they enter the next relationship full of hope but as they’re just doing the same things each time they only get the same results out!

The Twin Flame situation will may be very different from other relationships. Previously, unmet needs may have translated into rows, arguing and power struggles. Trust that those situations are behind you.

Take time to get to know your Twin Flame. See if you can work out their love language. Talk to them about it. Be creative in how you demonstrate your feelings for them using the love language knowledge. Deepen your connection through showing you want to make the effort and willing to try.

The key here in any relationship is to never take things for granted, keep communication open and honest. Make regular quality time for fun, sex and relaxation a top priority regardless of how busy life gets!

Love and blessings
Allera xx

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