How often do you stop and listen to your needs then do something to satisfy them?
We’re conditioned from young to suppress our needs and over look basic care requested from our mind, body and soul.
Have a look at where you are doing this or even where something or someone outside of you is pushing you to suppress your needs.
Here’s some observations:
- Some Yoga teachers not allowing people to drink water when they need to or leave the room to go to the bathroom. I’ve seen this in many a Bikram class. Take back your power and follow your own guidance! Only you know what is best for your body. Just because the teacher is at the front of the class doesn’t mean they are an expert on YOUR body or anything more than the yoga modality they are teaching!
- Ignoring the need to eat lunch or even go to the bathroom as you have back to back meetings or demands on your time! This above all is self neglect. If you don’t look after your health, nourish your body and keep it fuelled & rested. It will break down! Those phone calls and meetings just aren’t worth the cost of what realistically could just be 15 mins to sit and take a break & eat some food.
- Each time you ignore your needs it will often cause further wounding to the inner child. Taking you back to times as a child when no one made sure you were emotionally or physically looked after. This can be as simple as constant people pleasing. Saying yes because you are afraid to say no, even when you are tired & overwhelmed. It not only affects your physical health, mentally it will cause resentment and anger which more often than not is retroflected against yourself. Unresolved unexpressed anger, guilt & grudges eat at you mentally, physically and spiritually. Often the work I do with clients to heal & release the trapped emotions calls for deep forgiveness & compassion for self for allowing the situation to occur! We then work on boundaries & reclaiming your power to say no with confidence.
- Falling into the sacrificial mother role. Now this one is complex. I am going deeper into the healing of this construct which is often huge amounts of hand me down beliefs, programming & karmic imprints from ancestors, including your matriarchal line on what defines a good mother or even the deep fears that you aren’t one that many secretly suffer with. I’ve then looked into clearing the influence the blueprints we hold of ‘mother’ hold energetically for us as souls. Plus the influence of the collective consciousness fields of society and their projections. It runs deep into our psyche and even our DNA. However it can be changed!
If you find yourself in the pattern of swinging into self sacrifice or martyr not only with your children but often our romantic relationships too. Stop and catch yourself. How is this really serving you or those around you to be running from a place of inner exhaustion, resentment & low self love? It’s like trying to constantly give when the inner well of self is empty. For all of us, not just mothers. We must realise that we are far more loving, effective & full of joy and passion for life when we have filled the inner well with self love. We can then give and be of service from a place of fulfilment. This means simple changes and listening to your needs more.
- The curse of social media. We are in a generation where we can have thousands of Facebook friends but no one close by in real life. Leading to feelings of loneliness and isolation. Living a life looking at a screen. For women historically, we would have had generations of women in the community around us. Assisting us with support and guidance on each initiation our life path unravels.
Times have changed but those deep needs for connection haven’t. With the added demands on our time & energy as women we must recognise that the need for healthy sisterhood connections are still there. This is about going inwards and connecting with the feminine aspect of your soul within. It’s about recognising what you need in a friendship. Becoming that great friend to yourself FIRST. Then setting an intention to call in your soul family. Those souls who have agreed to be around you whilst you carry out your soul purpose. It might mean some travel but hey that is part of the adventure! My soul family started to come into my life when I started carrying out my purpose- it’s through this I found them!
- Knowing the difference between true hunger for food and hunger for love. It’s a blurred line and one that was often imprinted with loaded messages from childhood. For many they were given food as a reward or even witnessed a parent with disordered eating soothe themselves with sweets or chocolate . Picking up the message that the answer was in the cookie jar when In fact it’s no where near!
In a society where day to day anxiety is high and time is limited it’s an easy habit to fall into when needing to self soothe. Grab a snack, a sugary coffee, a bar of chocolate. No one bats an eyelid. You can mindlessly consume it and restore yourself till the slump kicks in without having to stop.
The key word here is STOP. Emotional eating is complex and there’s many layers to look at. However if the need is arising that you’re hungry and you know it’s an emotional need you require soothing- STOP. Pop to the ladies for 5 minutes, go outside for some fresh air. Do whatever it takes to remove yourself from the situation you are in at that time. Then close your eyes and take some deep breaths, setting the intention to release anything that doesn’t need to be in your space at that time. Then silently ask yourself- What do I need? See what comes to you. It might just be you need a break, a rest from what you were doing. It might be you need to do some exercise and shift the energy within you. It might mean you need a hug or some physical touch. Listen to what you receive and act on it.
The SOS bounce back from overwhelm 6 minute clearing is also great to reset on these situations. You can download here for free:
The spiritual awakening path is that of expanding your consciousness. Not only in the higher dimensional realms but also in taking a look at your habits, reactions and self limiting patterns. So you can shift them and free yourself from their grip!
Part of this is learning to re-parent yourself. Which is an exercise of identifying the gaps
in what your own parents provided that started the behaviours. Then taking responsibility as the adult in your life to correct them. You step into the role of parent, protector and supporter of your inner child. Meeting the needs that are often suppressed due to the childhood wounding. This goes hand in hand with learning to take back your power from parents, authority and outside influence. So you confidently reclaim your sovereignty!
If you are wanting to go deeper in your healing of inner child healing, reparenting yourself, boundaries, self love, compassion & forgiveness.
Take a look at the Twin Flame Healing Program here. To add this is for ANYONE who wants to heal themselves & live a soul aligned life!
Love and blessings