Boundaries, Boundaries Wherefore Art My Boundaries? - Pure Light 1111

Boundaries, Boundaries Wherefore Art My Boundaries?


What are your boundaries like? Do you know and respect your limits? Do you even recall what they are and what the little red flags look and feel like? Are you confident in saying NO, regardless of the consequences to keep yourself in alignment with YOUR TRUTH?

Many of the clients I work with have experienced a variety of challenging childhood environments and adult relationships. With a common theme that they had come to a point where they were very confused about their boundaries. Not just in what they were, but feeling incredibly guilty or even scared of asserting them. In these situations, family dynamics with parents will have set a precedent on how they had their needs met as a young child. In some cases this would have meant to get their basic care needs met and also to receive some kind of emotional attention/love. It was conditional on them bypassing their own boundaries and behaving in a way that wasn’t true to them. Just to get the basics covered so they felt safe growing up.

This pattern seeps into adult hood. You may find yourself people pleasing, unable to say no. Internalising the anger at yourself in not being true to yourself each time. This not only manifests in health issues such as IBS, asthma and eczema along with many other things. It also means you carry a heavy energetic load around with you as you just aren’t expressing your truth. It comes from a deep seated fear that if you did say NO you would be rejected, deemed bad, the ‘source’ of love removed or you would be unsafe. It connects back to how your little mind as a child would have felt at the prospect of speaking out in the family dynamic. So people become conditioned to behave a certain way to be liked and loved. Scared to dare rock the boat and speak their truth.

On this awakening journey, not speaking your truth and setting boundaries is going to be brought up for healing time and time again. You will be sent more people who consistently cross your boundaries (on all levels emotionally, physically and energetically). Till you learn how to not only say no and articulate your boundaries in a healthy way but also to love yourself to the point that you couldn’t possibly not speak your truth! It becomes too painful to try and swallow the lie you are essentially telling yourself when you say YES when you really mean NO. It physically becomes so uncomfortable as you literally feel the sinking feelings of sadness within or even the anger and rage at your boundaries being crossed and how you once again didn’t stop it.

When we have experienced a severe infringement of our boundaries such as abuse (verbal, sexual, physical), an imprint and weakness is held in our energy field. You may not be able to see it. However it creates an imprint of unresolved energy or a tear. This means that as this is held in your energy field and like attracts like. It will manifest in more scenarios being attracted to you, like a repeat of the same ‘injury’, till this is cleared and healed.

When you go through an awakening you are essentially healing each of the different energy fields where these injuries hold residue. So these can be in the physical body, your etheric body, the emotional/pain body and the mental body. You are also healing the soul trauma from having boundaries crossed which often results in some kind of soul fragmentation. This means that at the point of trauma a piece of soul breaks off and is left at the scene of the crime so to speak. If the boundary crossing was due to some kind of physical or sexual abuse the soul fragment is often held by the abuser along with energetic cords keeping the negative energy flowing between you.

On this journey to heal boundary crossing we need to do it at multiple levels to be able to resolve and move forwards without the same situations repeating. If we look at the physical body, trauma release and also releasing the energy we hold of our abusers is important. If there has been trauma to the body in the form of an injury, this energy is held in the cells, tissue and even bones years later until released. If the person is triggered they will often disassociate if on some level they believe the same trauma could be repeated. It’s a self defence mechanism which the person used to survive the original trauma. In these instances it’s very important to heal the root and stop the cycle from continuing. This often means healing the soul so it knows the difference between the initial event and the present time and that the original event is now over and completed along with all soul lessons.

We must also look at the beliefs we hold from the incidents and reprogram them to assist us in creating new healthy boundaries. This is how we heal the mental body and programs held there. Each belief is also a thought form and will be held in our energy field. If we hold beliefs such as- I will be attacked for speaking my truth or I will be abandoned by my family if I speak my truth. Then you will attract exactly that into your life. These are often not rational beliefs but are held deeply in the subconscious.

Sometimes we just haven’t been shown healthy role models in how to set healthy boundaries. So we never get to a place of feeling confident in doing so. It may also have been that you were hit, punished or rejected for saying no or speaking out as a child. Meaning when you try to do this with your Twin Flame or in your adult relationships you find yourself crippled in fear as it has triggered an inner child wound which takes you back to a place where it was unsafe to speak out. This is often one of the key difficulties I see reoccur with my Twin Flame clients when they try to articulate their views and needs with their counterparts. They regress and find themselves acting out. The gift is they have been shown the wound but often the scenarios becomes so emotionally and energetically tense they aren’t in a place to fully catch themselves from regressing due to this original wound. This is where inner child therapy and trauma release sessions have become very successful with my clients as I can show them exactly what happened to them as a child, the root incident, the root core belief holding the trapped emotion and explain what is actually happening when they are triggered. So we can release, heal the energetics, create self-awareness and also close out the soul lessons. I also provide counselling on how to set healthy boundaries so that they have the tools to handle the situations differently next time.

The Twin Flame journey also highlights lack of energetic boundaries. I hear of many people who become burnt out healers as they don’t know how to manage their energetic fields correctly. I also hear of many who are so empathetic they take on the issues, pain and suffering of others leaving them feeling overwhelmed. Many healers are tapping into ancient aspects of themselves who have shamanic memories so this would have been a natural way for the soul to heal someone. Though in this lifetime they don’t have the tools or boundaries to do the process correctly and end up ill because they have literally taken on another’s sickness.

For many souls they bring with them gifts of having an adept ability to hold sacred space. This relates to energy centres of Divine love which when utilised correctly allow a person to literally heal those around them through their presence, support and energetic ability to hold healing space. What normally happens is that people will recognise this frequency in a person. They instantly feel comfortable, safe and supported in their presence. They feel the energy of love and the compassion radiating from this soul. So they feel the need to download all their inner baggage and mental turmoil onto them without invitation or warning. They leave feeling great as they have just offloaded their heavy baggage however the other person is left confused at why once again an interaction has resulted like this. This all comes down to boundaries once again. When I trained as a therapist these were the exact things we were alerted to. Unless you set the boundaries including when you are working and when you are not. Meaning when it is appropriate to go into someone’s personal healing dilemma ie within a 121 session and when it’s not eg at the supermarket checkout at the weekend. If you don’t set strong personal boundaries on what is and isn’t acceptable no one else is aware. So many will find themselves giving and giving in these situations and feeling drained and taken advantage of. This can all simply be resolved by setting boundaries and feeling confident in stopping someone if they do try to download and redirecting them to when you can offer that service.

For many when they awaken and feel the drive to start helping others. They do this before doing the work on themselves and find themselves depleted. They have some new found healing abilities but no boundaries on when they offer their services. So they spend their time fighting other peoples fire drills and neglect their own self care. Often giving and giving till they are so demotivated and depleted that they no longer want to do what once brought them pleasure and fulfilment. The issue you will find is that if you are in this cycle you will continually attract people into your life who aren’t always willing to help themselves and will literally feed of your energy as you give them all your time, attention, tools and love to help them. Without any boundaries you open yourself up to be taken advantage of in this way and in some instances bullied! It’s very clear that people respect you, if you respect you.

For many they become the energetic life raft for their Twin Flame as they go through chaos or addictions. Leaving them ungrounded, drained and unable to think straight. Entities will also be at play here and just add to the confusion and feeling of being drained of energy. They become so energetically enmeshed during the energy body merge that they are unable to set proper boundaries with their Twin Flame and often become the ‘source’ of life force energy for the other instead of them connecting to source through their own godspark. This kind of unbalance often results in a person not having the energy to carry out and create a life in alignment with their soul plan as they are handing all their energy to their counterpart. They will also find themselves on an emotional rollercoaster as they won’t know if it’s their own stuff triggering them or their Twins or just their environment. This is why it’s so important to energy clear twice a day which removed the energy of others and gets you back to equilibrium.

If you haven’t started energy clearing. Download the free energy clearing mediations here from the shop

What many don’t realise is that having healthy boundaries and being able to assert them on all levels is actually us taking back our power as sovereign beings. It’s a rite of passage to making a strong declaration of self-love. It’s about stating my time, energy, body, love and resources are precious. When it comes to these we must let go of the conditioned obligations. The ones where we feel we ‘should’ be doing something. This is where your boundaries get weakened. Ultimately YOU and ONLY YOU get to choose how you share and use your energy, body, time, love and resources. By setting healthy boundaries you teach people how to treat you and they let them know what you will and won’t accept. There’s no guilt involved in this. This is all about self-love.

This also comes up time and time again with your Twin Flame. They will try and cross your boundaries in whatever way you don’t lovingly assert them to SHOW YOU what you need to heal and strengthen. It’s like a test of self-love and self-respect all rolled up in one. Many get so caught up in the Twin Flame haze that boundaries and self-respect go out of the window. This seems to be especially the case where a partner is struggling with addictions. I have seen women becoming the mother, financial support, lover, carer and basically full time need provider to their counterparts who continue to live their destructive lifestyles. These women even invite these men to live with them and their children. All because they have overlooked their own common sense and haven’t set any boundaries. It’s like they feel obligated to do all of these things for someone as they are their Twin Flame. Yet forget that the dynamic makes them unhappy, unfulfilled, it’s destructive for them and their children, leaves them drained of all resources and energy.

In these instances I ask you to consider whether you would be giving and doing all of this is you believed this was any other Joe Blog off the street or is it just because you believe this person is your Twin Flame. Then go back to step one and work on self-love, self-esteem and childhood wounding, then see how the situation changes.

The key thing is that regardless of who the person is Twin Flame, parent, child, colleague, boss etc. You should still have the same boundaries for yourself. So you know what is right for you. Not acting from obligation, pity, feeling that ‘should’, to keep someone else happy when it feels wrong to you, just to ‘keep’ the Twin Flame in your life, bed or home. If boundaries are being crossed it’s time to take a step back and assess why you allowed that and what are the next steps to rebalance the situation if possible. If you are in a situation which makes you feel unsafe, unhappy or used then it’s an alarm call to listen. A huge red flag. Twin Flame or not, it’s time to make changes in your life and step away from the situation and view it from a detached safer environment.

Within the Twin Flame Healing program I have specifically written the below sections to work on boundaries. I consider these the strong foundations of self. It’s the roots to self-love and self-care. Which means when we have strong foundations we can go deeper in the other healing pieces without being thrown off course. The program includes belief reprogramming, soul fragment retrieval, inner child re-parenting regression therapy, trauma release plus much more. For more information see here (£150).

  • Strong Foundations- Introduction
  • Strong Foundations- Energy Hygiene
  • Reparenting yourself & looking after the temple- self-care meditation
  • Journey of the soul – core wound, relationship with the creator & separation from your Twin Flame Healing
  • The drama triangle Twin Flame Clearing Meditation
  • Reparenting yourself & looking after the inner temple- Inner child healing meditation

Love and blessings
Allera xx

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